If you’re old & decrepit like me – for instance, cute waitresses call you ‘Sir’- then you may remember a TV ad for Hertz Car Rentals. It featured then-football star O J Simpson running through an airport at full speed. One of my buddies has a name for when you’ve got your throttle opened wide and you’re going at the limits.
My buddy calls this Full Tilt Boogie.
I can now say that I pulled an O J Simpson today and scrambled through Sidney Airport at – you guessed it – full tilt boogie.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Let’s turn the page back to yesterday afternoon. I check my flight departure time from Sidney to Cairns. I see 10:10. No sweat. I’ll get to the airport in plenty of time, since there wouldn’t be time to do anything before that anyway.
Made arrangements with the concierge for an airport shuttle to pick me up at the hotel at 7:30. That’ll get me to the airport by about 8:30, so I’ll grab breakfast there and have a relaxing time before catching the plane. Gives me an opportunity to catch up on some of my correspondence. Nothing could be simpler.
But I missed something.
The 10:10 time was for my arrival in Cairns. My flight was scheduled to leave at (gulp) 8:50.
And I only got to the airport at 8:30.
Hmm. Now what?
Well, there was a final boarding call for Virgin flight 1413. And I hadn’t even checked in.
Fortunately for boneheads like me, Virgin Airways has an express check-in service, and Aussie airport security has an express security process.
Got through both in less than 5 minutes. Never expect that to happen ever again.
And here’s where I went into O J Simpson Full Tilt Boogie mode, scrambling to get to Gate 31 before the aircraft starts to roll away.
Up at the counter in record time, panting like a St Bernard with less drool. “Morgan Fisher *pant* for flight *pant* 1413 to Cairns *pant*.”
“Oh, sir,” ACH – there’s that damn SIR thing again – “there’s been a slight delay. The aircraft hasn’t arrived yet. We expect a 20 minute delay.”
I’m the luckiest guy I know.
Arrived without incident in Cairns, get the shuttle to the hotel, and I know this place! I was here in 1991 on a ConTiki tour through Oz! Good memories here.
I think I may have used all the luck I can expect to get for the next, oh, 20 years or so. Will keep everyone posted on that. And don’t expect any more O J Simpson escapades, of any sort.